Working for an established big company is the most rewarding job ever!
Some people are born to work for others and others are born to work for themselves. I did not realize this until my third job. It has been 7 years of working for big companies and on my third year of my current job it finally hit me why I am so unhappy. I hate working for others. I have a bad habit of putting my heart and soul into these jobs that just take me for granted and use me for their advantage. I have sleepless nights of worrying about the issues at work, I downloaded Outlook for work on my iPhone and monitor all the emails coming in and answer questions while I’m eating cereal on a Sunday morning. BUT I am not getting paid for it.
I have had my hair fall out in clumps, breakouts all over my body, anxiety attacks, bathroom break cries for a job that pays me way below the pay scale of my duties. My boyfriend always tells me to stop going above and beyond on everything because my bosses have gotten used to it. I can’t help it, I was born a natural over achiever! I want to be the best ALL the time!
I was brought up on such a creative background, with a strong moral upbringing. Being told never to let anyone run you over and make you feel inferior. Now being 24 I have realize that I have forgotten all this and became someone I promised myself I would never be.
I never wanted to be that person that was married to their job unless it was something that I have created from scratch. I believe my issue is that I want perfection all the time and if I stray away from a solid Monday through Friday job and on to the unknown I won’t have the control of not failing and I hate FAILING.
As a teen I always pictured my life as graduating FIDM, creating my own clothing line and becoming as big and successful as Forever 21. Living in a loft with sky-high ceilings with my 2 cats, and spending my weekends photographing the life of Los Angeles. But those were just dreams. I am now an involuntary college drop out, with 2 cats, working a Monday-Friday job, that I have to meditate my mind away from thinking about on my days off.
I am so unhappy….
As a firm believer as the Law of Attraction and manifestation, I know that I create the life I live. I need to burst that barrier of fear of failure and strive for my dreams! Or as my dad would say, “Stop whining unless you’re going to do something about it!” Let’s hope my next post is about how I have accomplished all my dreams, and am a successfull multimillionaire. HA
Until next time,
♥ Samie Katt ♥